Super Bowl 2013 Commercial Coverage LIVE: Who Rocks?

This evening it is not really about the football play on the field, but the advertisements. Following the kickoff which found the 49ers struggling to gain any yardage, the first commercials were out. The Budweiser Black Crown one was first and really nondescript which lead into a red M&M commercial where Naya Rivera (Santana on Glee) was the object of affection and the Audi “Prom” commercial where the teen found it was “his time” to park in the principal’s spot, kiss the prom king’s date to sport a black eye afterwards. The next series brought the disgusting Go Daddy commercial “Perfect Match” with the most outrageously unlikely match before the funny Doritos commercial with the goat taking revenge for the hiding of Doritos and being placed for sale simply because he annoyed the owner…I mean when you have something that tastes as good as Doritos you cannot stop with just one chip!

Well, it looks a though this is going to be a Budweiser Black Crown night as this commercial has aired twice in the first half hour. The Pepsi Next commercial hits the screen where the son is at a party that is crashed by his parents who give into the taste followed by Amy Poehler making her purchases at Best Buy wanting the clerk to read her Fifty Shades of Grey in a sexy voice but the most hilarious is the commercial for The Big Bang Theory where they are dressed in football uniforms…I mean will Leonard get it right? The protective cup goes on the inside!

There is a commercial for the remake of the Wizard of Oz which will be coming out on March 8; who’s going? Coke’s new commercial which is a gentle reminder to love one another which brings up the Oreo advertisement in the library where a feud over the cookie or the creme brings in whispering firemen and cops. Actually, this was really funny when you think about it! It’s the end of the first quarter and the Ravens lead with the score 7-3. The newest installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise will be in theaters this fall (Memorial Day) with Vin Diesel teaming up with “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson. The Toyota commercial with Kaley Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory is hilarious when she appears as the genie to grant wishes when the father wants his spare tire gone and she gets rid of the extra tire on the car followed by other wishes including his wish for infinite wishes which she takes as witches. Finally, she gives him his wish as he trots behind the car.

The next Doritos advertisement is more funny than the first with “Princess Dad and Friends” where a little girl wants he dad to play dress up and is joined by his buddies over for the game because they want the Doritos. The Calvin Klein commercial is strictly to sell…well, not underwear for sure! The advertisement brings on the drama of a mama wolf looking for her baby which is held by a couple disputing the choices…deal done! There is a fumble on the field and the Ravens come up with it that results in a touchdown and the score is now 14-3 favor Baltimore!

The next series of commercials are actually getting more creative beginning with the Budweiser Light advertisement featuring the graveyards of New Orleans and a meeting with Stevie Wonder singing “Superstitious” which finds the guy sitting in the stands for the Super Bowl holding onto a voodoo doll of the 48ers next to another guy holding one of the Ravens. The tagline is “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work!” The Go Daddy “Big Idea” advertisement features discussions of good ideas that are not put out there until one does hitting it big. CBS creates a dedication to its fans which is followed by “The Rock” in a milk commercial with the world falling apart around him and the turbo-charged Hyundai Sonata ad which is entertaining but disgusting in a few places especially when the dog slobber hits the car!

A fight on the field, but this will not deter the commercials to follow! The turnover is recovered by Baltimore who attempts a sneak run off a field goal attempt but fails giving the ball to the 49ers on the six which they do nothing with. The Volkswagen “Everything Will Be Alright” Jamaican ad is pretty funny followed by the Coke “Mad Max/Indiana Jones/Vegas showgirls” chase for the bottle in the desert that is actually a billboard…who will win? Subway has a dedication to Jared’s fifteenth anniversary which brings us to the two-minute warning of the first half. The Taco Bell “Forever Young” commercial aired in some foreign language that I did not recognize as Spanish, but who knows? Misfeed? This was followed by the Sketchers advertisement of the tackling the cheetah to save the gazelle and the Bridgestone “Moments” spot. Okay, boring once again; let’s hope it picks up. Well, not so much with the Lincoln spot for the MKZ that followed a long touchdown pass by Flaco to bring the score to 21-3 Ravens but the 49ers fight back to score a field goal before the halftime buzzer making it 21-6 going into the lockers.

Pepsi presents the first ever fan countdown to Beyonce’s performance on the field. It is a technical wonder and admittedly better than expected with cameras tight on her to prevent any rumors of lip-syncing. It would be kind of difficult, though, since a majority of the performance was backtracks with a lot of dancing and very little actual singing. It was, however, nice that the other Destiny Child performers, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, were brought onstage to share this moment with her as a hallmark to their careers. They sang “Bootylicious” and “Independent Women” before breaking into “Single Ladies.” Prior to the reunion, Beyonce Knowles sang “Crazy in Love” and “Baby Boy” ending the halftime show with “Halo.” She looked stunning in her black leather teddy bear.

Just before the second half kick off, Oprah presented the Jeep tribute to our brothers and sisters in the armed forces with a public service announcement. It was moving and very well done. Congratulations Jeep!

Well, the second half starts out with a lot of firsts! Jacoby Jones immediately takes the kickoff and runs it through the inside lane down the field for an 11 second 109 yard touchdown to make NFL history as well as put the Ravens up on the scoreboard 28-6. Then the lights go out in New Orleans as half of the Superdome loses power halting the game. Bring on the commercials! The first is the Century 21 “Wedding” where the guy faints at the alter until a home is secured to prevent living with the mother-in-law. This is followed by the Blackberry Z10 “On Fire” ad which leads into the disappointing E*Trade commercial about “Hidden Fees” with the little guy giving clues on how to spend the money you don’t want to save. Subway makes an appearance with the “FebruANY” commercial followed by another Budweiser Light ad about “Lucky Chair” being spell cast. After more than a half an hour of downtime, the game is back on. Conspiracy theories anyone? Is New Orleans voodoo at play? The Subway “FebruANY” and the Bud Light “Lucky Chair” commercials are repeated for posterity. The Axe “Shark Attack” advertisement hits the screen where the rescued woman leaves the lifeguard in favor of the Apollo astronaut geek. This is followed by the stupid MIO Fit commercial and a David Letterman spot.

Kaepernick for the 49ers remains calm and with bullet accuracy throws a pass to Crabtree who breaks a tackle and goes in for the touchdown. The score is now 28-13 still in favor of Baltimore. The next set of commercials is a mixture of creative and absent-minded script writing. The Kia Forte “Robot Revenge” is pretty funny where the guy kicks the tire and the female robot kicks his butt, but the Gildan t-shirt and PSY’s “Gangnam Style” pistachio commercial are real letdowns. Moving on…

Jacoby Jones’s kickoff touchdown was changed officially to 108 yards making it an NFL record tie instead. Flaco is sacked on the seven as the momentum changes in the game in favor of the San Francisco 49ers as a bad punt is taken to the 20 and then in for a touchdown making the score 28-20 still in favor of Baltimore but San Francisco is coming on strong in the third quarter. Another Lincoln commercial which was a project of Jimmy Fallon is a bust but the Speed Stick “Laundromat” advertisement is pretty cute although not as much so as the Beck Sapphire one with the singing black goldfish! The Budweiser “Brotherhood” ad with the young Clydesdale is particularly moving especially at the end when the horse fails to forget his buddy…one of the best this year by far!

Returning to the game finds Rice dropping the ball for the Ravens giving San Francisco continued momentum which only ends with a field goal and the score is now 28-23 Baltimore. The Deon Sanders commercial for the NFL draft was pretty creative with him posing as an athletic anomaly named Leon Sandcastle. This is followed by the Labatt Blue Light beer commercial one could call “Canad-eh!” The zombie “Walking Dead” advertisement for Time Warner Cable is pretty creative but a little on the morbid side. Pierce is out of the game as the fourth quarter starts and the Ravens score a field goal bringing the score to 31-23. The Paul Harvey “Farmer” tribute for Dodge Ram is a fantastic spot and one of the night’s best!

Kaepernick runs the football in for a San Francisco touchdown from the fifteen but they fail to convert a two-point extra point making the score 31-29 with the 49ers in the rear view mirror of the Ravens! The next commercial spots are miles apart with the KIA “Babylandia” explanation of “Where do babies come from” question which is followed by the advertisement for the Wounded Warrior Project narrated by Tom Selleck. As the game winds down, the last few advertisements include the Joe Montana miracle stain on the 49ers jersey from Tide, the pitch by Soda Stream during a game which has been pretty clean with few penalties called. The field goal by Baltimore brings the score to 34-29. The 49ers fail to score from inside the ten turning the ball over to the Ravens who allow a safety but win the game with a final scoreboard reading 34-31. The last commercials were the “Deal with the Devil” Mercedes-Benz spot for the CLA coming out this fall and the Samsung Galaxy ad with Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd pitching fir the “Next Best Thing” with an appearance by LeBron James. I am sure many were disappointed there was no Victoria Secret commercial this year…maybe in 2014!

Video clips courtesy of YouTube

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