Today, 3/28/2019, Dr. Oz examines why some women are attracted to men who are incarcerated for crimes. Investigative correspondent Mara Schiavocampo explores hybristophilia, a psychological disorder in which one is attracted to partners who have caused public outrage. Plus, she shares prison dating apps that connect people to killers.
Mostly male, serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and Charles Manson strike fear in most but for some women, it is an obsession. Some women even want to have their babies! What drives women who are devoted to dangerous men? These are called the “real housewives of murderers.”
Schiavocampo says she wasn’t all that surprised about the celebrity status of these murderers, but, she was surprised that these women would be attracted to men they knew nothing about and had never even met. Male serial killers often receive fan letters and even marriage proposals from women, after they are imprisoned in jail.
She says experts say that these women have hybristophilia is a disease that affects women who are sexually aroused by dangerous men.
Hybristophilia is a paraphilia in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are responsive to and contingent upon being with a partner known to have committed an outrage, cheating, lying, known infidelities, or crime—such as rape, murder, or armed robbery. The term is derived from the Greek word ὑβρίζειν hubrizein, meaning “to commit an outrage against someone”, and philo, meaning “having a strong affinity/preference for”. They can even be attracted more to them because of their looks.
She tells Oz that there are sites online that have thousands of members who connect women to these men…prison dating apps.!
Some simple explanations as to why so many ordinary women get a kick out of dating the bad boys.
- In romantic fiction, the hero is often an alpha male, a strong, dominant ‘bad boy’ who lacks empathy. Plots revolve around turning the hero into somebody who has compassion but still retains the alpha characteristics the heroine was attracted to in the first place. Serial killers are the ultra version of alpha males.
- They are driven and highly competent at their ‘job’ (otherwise they would have been caught before they managed to notch up so many ‘successes’) and, like the hero from romantic fiction, they are self-centered and pursue their desires without worrying about the effect on others. To turn such a man into a caring, empathetic human being would be a feat worthy of a true heroine.
- The thrill of being with somebody so infamous, not to mention the excitement of the media spotlight, may be like a drug for some women. However, for the woman attracted to the imprisoned killer, the very features she likes and which make him dangerous are neutralized by incarceration.
- She can have her perfect beau without needing to indulge him, whether this is carrying out domestic chores or fulfilling his depraved sexual desires. She is free to fantasize about an extreme physical relationship while remaining safe.
- Another benefit is that her alpha male, who would usually attract the attention of other women, is safely locked away from their charms.
- Although she knew of his crimes, was convinced she could change him.
There are currently around 100 British women engaged or married to men on death row in the US.
Is it the excitement of dating a dangerous man, but one who cannot do harm while on the inside? Perhaps it is the knowledge that he relies on her totally? Maybe she wants to be the one who tames him? Whatever the reason, let’s hope she has a means of escape if she needs it.
Ref. telegraph.uk.com, theguardian.com
Photo courtesy of Bing via The Guardian.com