Dating is so different after you have been married and have children. Especially, when you are mid-life and are not looking for someone to have a 1st with; first home, first child, etc. You may be gun-shy from the past relationship and don’t even know if you want to find love again but don’t want to be alone either. If you have children, you have to consider their needs first and if a new relationship will help or harm them even more. These are just a few things you think about when considering dating.
It is so hard to move forward when all you can do right now is just survive with your new lifestyle. If you are a single parent, it can be overwhelming. Especially, if you also work full-time. Maybe there needs to be a change in how you view the way you should move towards dating.
- When you start dating, don’t take it seriously. At first, just go on a date for an evening out of the house. This will help you to get your feet wet. Don’t worry if that person is marriage material. Just laugh and enjoy a free dinner.
- Your children do not need to meet who you date. They are still adjusting to a life-long change in their lives. They do not need to have to accept or judge anyone. Their lives should be as peaceful as possible.
- Eventually, make a list of what you are looking for in a partner. Date the ones you like for months before sizing them up. Never, ever, ignore red flags and do not blame your fears on their shortcomings.
- If you do have children, ignore players. You do not need to even entertain the thought of changing someone when your kids are your priority and you do not deserve this drama.
- Never think a relationship is an answer to your problems. Make yourself happy first and do what is best for you. This will keep you from falling for someone who will never be compatible with you. You deserve happiness and fulfillment. If you are looking for someone due to financial problems, get a roommate instead.
- Start doing other things besides dating that you always wanted to do. Examples are; painting, girls trips, counseling, attending singles groups, gardening, etc.
- Let life flow naturally. Someone who is meant to be in your life will appear when you least expect it. Don’t go to bars looking for someone. You may meet the right person in your neighborhood, at church, or in the grocery store.
- To succeed, it’s important to be realistic about what you can and cannot expect from a romantic, long-term relationship when you are not the person you were in your 20’s. You need to look for someone who helps you to enjoy your life now and is mature enough to handle and want to be part of your current life.
- It’s time to stop being an observer, watching and waiting while life goes on without you. Create your best life.
- Read books on topics that relate to your situation. Discover insights, advice and tips you need to know to help you develop the healthy, mutually satisfying love relationship you’ve always desired and deserve.
You may decide that you love being single more than being married. Your future is now in your own hands. Make the best of it!
Ref. MSN/lifestyle/bestlifeonline.com, authoritymagazine.com
Photo courtesy of Bing via time.com